I am sooooo concerned ! My teddy head feels quite overwhelmed ! I just do not know what to do! I have just heard on the teddy news radio station that it is Stocktaking time! What am I going to do if a baddie person comes into the Kiosk at exactly one minute to twelve , and decides to literally "take" some "stock" off the shelves ! It would not be very good at all! And, it would be even worse if the baddie person came into the Kiosk at one minute past midnight instead! But... I suppose the best time that I could hope that he arrived is right on midnight because then he might turn into a pumpkin! That would be such a funny sight, wouldn't it?! He would be creeping in to the Kiosk dressed in black and white striped clothing(I have been watching old tv shows and that is the uniform that baddie stock takers always wear. I think that it must be an official law that to belong to the robbers union , you must commit to wearing that uniform. But... I suppose that if the uniform needs a wash and they put it in the washing machine and because of rain it doesn't dry in time, and they don't own a clothes dryer... after all that perhaps they could be excused and instead wear a red and white striped pattern. I wonder if the uniform has to be completely spotless? I say this because the robber may have been having vegemite on toast for breakfast that morning, and split some of the vegemite on his clothes. It would not be dirty enough to have to put it in the washing machine for a full wash but just enough to leave a stain. It would be okay if they were eating some Licorice such as what the Kiosk sells, and they spilt that because that would colour coordinate with their black and white uniform.) Anyway, back to the pumpkin scene! It would be sooo funny if the baddie was in his black and white uniform and then on the stroke of midnight turned into a bright orange pumpkin! If that happened, I could then make some nice warming pumpkin soup! It would certainly warm me up on a Wintery low temperature night. I could also make some pumpkin scones to eat with the soup.
  But... I am still quite scared! I am only a little teddy. Well, there are teddies that are smaller than me, but figuratively inside I only feel like a little teddy. I haven't learnt self- teddy-defence. Also, there are only a few people that can speak and understand the teddy language, and the baddie person might not be bilingual and so not understand both English and Teddy language if and when I yelled out: " Mr. Baddie, please don't enter here!" What do I DO? What DO I do?! Perhaps I will just need to rely on my trusty backup of throwing long life milks at the baddie? Another option is to throw a packet of serviettes at the robber. It would be best to throw patterned serviettes at the robber because they are heavier than plain white ones.
  Perhaps if I threw a block of dairy milk chocolate at the baddie, a cow might appear because of the milk and the mooing would scare the robber away? A cherry ripe bar used as a weapon, might produce a cherry that would fall onto the top of his head and create a round lumpy bump! Even better would be an aero bar, which if I threw at him, could turn into an aeroplane which could whisk him out of the Kiosk, and send him off to outer space! Then, I could go outside the next night, look up towards the moon, and instead of seeing a full moon that is made of cheese, I would see a chunk taken out of it which the robber has eaten because the aeroplane has flown him to the moon!
  I feel quite a bit more positive now, and more prepared if the baddie person arrives over this stock taking time. He will not "take" any "stock " from the Kiosk with me being the Guard Teddy in charge!
Well, I had better go and have a little nap now. Guarding can be quite tiring and I may need to do a few all night watching stints! Tim Tams are good energy boosts though , so I must make sure that there are enough of these biscuits on the Kiosk shelves...
Until next time, Be alert! Be aware! Be kind to teddies!
Your friend, Kiosk Ted Strath