Oh! Oh! I am sooo very excited! I just can't wait!! But I have to wait! But I still will find it hard to wait!! But I have put it onto my teddy calendar and ringed the date with a bright red circle! Oh, perhaps I had better tell you what I can't wait for??  My teddy friends and I have been invited to… attend the Melbourne Cup!! It is going to be sooo exciting getting dressed up in all our teddy bear clothing finery!!  We have already started planning what we are going to wear. We are going to hire our outfits from Henrietta the Hiring clothes teddy.  I am going to wear a black tuxedo with white buttons, a black bowler hat, and shiny black boots. Rosemary, Laura, Tina, Debbie and Katie and all the other female teddies are just chattering and chattering about the Cup non-stop! You know how females can sometimes get very giggly when they are excited… well they are extra giggly! It is much fun to hear though, and their laughter and excitedness is so very infectious! In fact, I asked their opinion on what I should wear because these girl teddies are so fashion knowledgeable! They very kindly advised me on my clothing. They even came with me to Henrietta's shop so that I could do a fashion parade before their eyes and they chose which tuxedo and hat suited me the best! They have shown me very quick sneaky peeks of what they are wearing too. The dresses are sooo pretty! They are floral, pink, lace-y , and very lovely! I think they may even wear necklaces too! Isn't it very exciting?!! Oh, I do feel very trembly with excitement!!

But... can I tell you a little secret? You do have to promise me though that you will not tell anyone. It is the hugest, biggest secret... even though I said it was a little secret. Can I trust you not to tell anyone? Hmm… yes, I think you will keep it to yourself. My teddy friends and myself are… very scared of horses! Yes, it is true! I have now typed it in black and white for everyone to read here. Horses are so very, very big, and they run very, very fast, and they sound very, very loud when they neigh!! And teddies feel very, very small when we stand near them! Tina who is a very tiny little teddy is extra afraid of them! It would NOT be very nice if their hooves accidentally stomped on us!! Then we would have a horse shoe print on our teddy tummy! Ouch! George who is the teddy gardener is about the only teddy that I know who isn't afraid of horses. The reason for this, is that he grows nice organic carrots and apples for horses to eat! He doesn't use pesticides or add any nasty unwanted additives to the soil. George has many horse friends, because they know that he will supply them with tasty apples and carrots to eat! Hmm… there is an advantage to be a gardener … you can make great horse friends !

  But… it is okay because when we go to the Melbourne Cup, we are not really interested in the horses! We are just going there to take a picnic hamper lunch, have a fun time getting dressed up ,and drink delicious peach nectar out of fine glass goblets! We are not interested in which horse wins the race! Well, we are a little bit interested… but just because they have such funny names! We always hope that the horse with the funniest name will win! Our tip for this year is... any horse that sounds like a teddy name! We don't know yet what horses will be in the race, but you read it here first, a teddy related named horse will win! Hmm… perhaps I had better place a legal disclaimer right now before I type another word! "I hold no responsibility for any action that may follow from me advising you that the winner of the Cup will have a teddy related name. Under legal law, I am absolved from any repercussion of any actions you may take after hearing my advice. You cannot sue me!" Oh that feels better! I don't like legal jargon, but you do have to be very careful these days! Anyone could sue or lay charges against you if they follow your advice and it turns out for the worse! Better to  issue a legal binding warning than to suffer the consequences!! I would be sooo worried if someone laid charges against me and sued me! I would be worried how to defend myself! I haven't got any money either, because us teddies don’t have pockets to hold money, so I don't what I would do! Also the bear legal aid team is away at the moment on holidays!! And… they didn't take their bear mobile phones with them, so no one can be in touch with them! It does make a restful holiday for the legal aid bears, but it is not very helpful if any teddies get into trouble! Have you heard of the bear legal aid solicitors? They are very clever bears you know! The got their law degrees at Oxford Uni! Yes, the same uni that Mr. Oliver my bestest teddy friend got his degree from too! Their names are Larry, Lucinda and Leroy! They are a very polite legal team, and have helped quite a lot of teddies that have been in trouble.

It is going to be sooo much fun! We have been invited to go to the special "teddy bear marquee"! Oh, it is not like the Myer's marquee or the other marquees where celebrities are invited. Our teddy bear marquee is much more "funner" than that! Any teddy can enter it, and as soon as a teddy says they are going to the Cup, an invitation is sent by express bear mail! And… even if a teddy just decides on the day that they will go to the Cup it doesn't matter at all because they will be welcomed at the front entrance with very wide open paws!! There is music playing, lots of chattering and catching up on happy teddy family news,  lady teddies can paw-test the latest range of perfumes for teddies and have great fun trying on lots and lots of different shades of lipstick.  We used to be able to play darts there but… sadly this has been cancelled due to health and safety concerns. There was a slight risk that a wayward dart could end up stuck in  the back of an unsuspecting teddy! That would not be very nice, would it?!! I think it would be quite painful! I would definitely not like to spend the rest of my teddy life hopping, skipping and jumping about with a dart sticking out of my back!! It would be very awkward lying down on a bed and trying to sleep I would think.

My teddy friends who are girls have decided against wearing hats this year to the Cup.  They heard a long range forecast that Cup Day could be quite windy, and they were quite concerned that their teddy arms would get very tired from having to hold onto their hats all day.   Also, I don't know if you know this, but there is a very drastic shortage of female teddy hats! I think it is the economy downturn or perhaps it is the change of government or perhaps it is because it is spring… but I think the main reason is that Helena the hat maker broke her teddy arm! Oh, it must have been so very painful! She had decided to climb an apple tree and pick a very red-looking juicy apple that was on the top most branch. Helena jumped onto the lower limbs on the tree and started climbing and climbing upwards… when all of a sudden the branches became too thin and spindly… and the next thing Helena knew was that she was in a daze on the ground with stars circling her head and she felt quite sore and dizzy! Her arm was in quite a bad condition! She was given strict instructions from Doctor Teddy to rest her arm. The funny thing was, that she knew that she had to rest her arm because it was too painful to move it anyway! It also meant that she couldn't make any teddy hats! It didn't matter though, because the female teddies have lots of other pretty clothing items and accessories to wear.

Well, I better make more preparations for my Cup Day expedition! Hmmm… perhaps a little pre-Cup snack of some biscuits from the Kiosk may be a tasty way to spend the next few minutes…

  Until next time,

                  Don't go near horses… or if you do, make sure you have a carrot or apple in your hand!            

 Your friend, Mr. Kiosk-Ted Strath

                Also simply known as "Ted"!!