I was soooo embarassed! My brown fur would have turned red if it could have, but as it can't, it didn't! (That was a strange last sentence!! When I was a little teddy and went to teddy school, I very much enjoyed studying  English as a school subject. I happily read books, and learnt how to spell things, and I even made up some poems!  I am not sure if my grammar skills are very good now, but I do try very, very hard! ) I still feel sooo embarrassed when I think about it! Hmmm… you may be wondering what " it " is that I am thinking about? Well, I have heard that if you share a concern or a joyful moment with another person, a trouble is halved and happiness is multiplied. My experience relates to a concern, and I know that you are good listeners so  please open up your ears and make sure that  you have visited your doctor lately for him or her  to check that you have no wax in your ear. If there is wax there, you may not hear what I am writing! I will explain my awkward predicament!!

 The week before Christmas, I needed to do some Christmas shopping down at the Shopping Centre. There were soooo many great items to buy at the Strathalan Kiosk, but   I needed to buy a gift for my teddy friend Priscilla the Pickled Onion teddy. She enjoys eating pickled onion sandwiches! Yes, I know exactly what you are thinking, it would not be my favourtite type of sandwich but Priscilla enjoys eating them so very much, so I wanted to buy a jar of pickled onions to wrap up as my Christmas present for her. The Kiosk sells many items, but I checked all the shelves minutely, and couldn't find a jar of pickled onions. Also, she likes having the pickled onions on pumpkin seed bread! That meant that I wanted to buy a loaf of this bread to give to her too. My friend Mr. Oliver Bear kindly offered to take me shopping in his Bear-mobile car. He gave a quick toot of the car when he arrived at the Kiosk, and after jumping in to the car, we headed off as happy as could be!  We parked in the upper level carpark at Greensborough Plaza and needed to use the escalators to go down to Coles. Not a wise move! I jumped onto the escalator… and did a teddy nose dive down each step , with a "plop", bump" and "bang" on each step of the escalator! Ouch! Ouch! It definitely got me to the bottom of the escalator very quickly, but it was quite a painful way! And… more importantly was that I had many, many people banking up behind me trying to get off the escalator! They all had to pretend that they were on a treadmill, and keep stepping with their legs up and down  in the same position as the steps kept coming along underneath them! I didn't know what to do! Mr. Oliver, tried to get down to help me… but his passageway was blocked by all the other people in front of him! He tried jumping upwards whilst the steps were going downwards… and he somehow succeeded in getting back to  where we got onto the escalator! He then rushed to the nearest elevator, got in, descended a level, and then rushed to my aid! I felt like giving him a super-teddy cape! He was my rescuer! Who is that up in the sky or coming down on the lift? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's super Mr. Oliver teddy bear!! I can't really give him a cape though because red doesn't look very stylish on him. He did wear a red bow tie over Christmastime, but the red clothes don't really look quite right on him. It all comes back to the time when he witnessed the most dreadfullest sight of my friend Heather (she is NOT a teddy!! Nor is Sparrow!!) crash into   Sparrow's bedroom window and she broke her nose! There was blood everywhere! Oliver then developed quite a fear of blood, which he is only now getting over. Blood is red, and perhaps a red cape may remind him of this accident. Oliver must have had a double serving of  Corrnflakes that morning, because he managed to sort of drag me off the  escalator… but unfortunately all the other people who had piled up behind me became like dominos  and they all went bumpity-bumpity  down the escalators too!  I do hope that no-one was injured!! I wondered if I should have exchanged phone numbers and addresses with them, just like  people do after car accidents? But… Isabella the Insurance teddy was going away for the Christmas holidays so I knew that the people who were on the escalators would have had to wait to claim any health insurance recompensation from her. Apart from a few bruises , (which didn't look very "spectacular" because they were brown and I have brown fur!) I was okay. I was a sore teddy, but I felt more embarrassed rather than injured! Mr. Oliver and I rushed back to his car as fast as our teddy paws could carry us, and we "sped" home to the Kiosk… keeping within the speed limit of course because we are very responsible teddies. We ALWAYS obey the road rules and speed limits!

Soooo …. You now know why I am feeling a bit embarrassed!

But… do you know what? Of course you don't know what because if you did I would not have to tell you!  So I will now tell you! I am officially a mince-pie liker! I am indeed! I will tell you a little secret… each evening of the week before Christmas I ate a mince pie that my kindly Kiosk friends had given to me!! It was soooo very delicious! I would settle down into my comfy chair, get out my red and green painted plate (because I would not be thought of very nicely if I spilt crumbs on the floor of the Kiosk would I!!) and place the mince pie onto the plate. Then I would just take little delicate nibbles of the mince pie, teddy bite size-by-teddy bite size until it had all been deliciously eaten! My teddy friend Miss Monica Meticulously Manners Teddy taught me that you must never ever have bad food manners when eating! Always use the correct food etiquette was her often repeated remark! Take teddy bite sizes! You do not have to use a knife and fork because they can be very heavy to hold and it always makes sense to put a cup on top of a wafer tin so that you can sit and let it tip into your mouth so that you can drink it. Never, ever talk with your mouth full, even if you just can NOT wait to tell an amazingly exciting, fun and extra special piece of news that you are just exploding to tell someone else!!( Hmm… I don't even want to imagine the sight of an exploding teddy!!) Yes, Miss Monica is a very good food etiquette  teddy teacher. All of us teddies always address her by the name Miss, but  actually she is married to Barrie the Butler Bear. We never actually knew why he was called Barrie the butler because he never was a butler to anyone but he did attend teddy butler school and learnt many good manners skills there.

Anyway, I enjoyed eating the mince pies, but am now glad to wait until next year before eating any more. An apple a day keeps the teddy doctor away, a fruit mince pie a day is only okay for a teddy to eat a week before Christmas Day! ( I am good at Christmas rhyming poetry I think! !)

 Talking about supper, I think that it just might be the right time for me to go and have something to eat from the Kiosk shelves now! Decisions, decisions on what to eat! I think that I will have some scotch fingers biscuits today, to celebrate the Scottish New Year festivities!

  Until next time,

                   Be very careful if you happen to be travelling on an escalator!

                 Your friend, Kiosk-Ted Strath. 

                  Also simply known as "Ted"!!

 

P.S. I am very sad to say that Priscilla did not receive her jar of pickled onions from me this year. It is okay though, because she went to the Boxing Day Sales and was able to get a jar for half-price! She was so very happy!!